Things That Won’t Die: Chain Letters

It’s happened to all of us.
You hear from somebody out of the blue…they’ve reached back to the future and send you an email. You smile, open it and scan down and it’s another friggin’ chain letter. You know the ones.
They have a vaguely uplifting message about self-worth. Often there’s a mention of candles, saints, angels…whatever.
And then comes the part I hate: send this to nine people NOW or your day, your life, your whole miserable existence will be shot to hell.
Now, I don’t know about you but I resent being on somebody’s curse-remover filler-list. If I am not good enough for you to send me a nice normal, hey, how ya doin’ email, then please, remove me from your junk mail, better-send-this-in-case-my-day-really-will-turn-to-crud list.
Whilst I am in full-blown rant mode, what about those people who keep forwarding dumbass jokes? They’re not as bad as those infernal chain letters, but they’re often just as aggravating. I giggle when I get cute animal pics, stories of bravery and genuinely uplifting tales that require nothing more from me than simple enjoyment.
However, I really don’t vibe to pics of girls deep throating horses, dogs or impaling themselves on gigantic cans of beer.
When I was a teenager, I received my first chain letter and it offered dire predictions if I didn’t forward it to ten people I knew. I was petrified. I dutifully photo copied and sent it to the first ten people in my dad’s address book.
He went mad. And so did his friends.
I never forwarded another chain letter after that, no matter what the predicted consequences.
I especially hated the anonymous ones. Those ones suggested the worst fates of all. I received them for years on and off and wondered who in the world could be sending these to me.
I hate being told what do, but hate even more being told what to do by complete strangers.
So please, stop forwarding chain letters. Break the chain. Take your chances with God, Saint Teresa, the Easter Bunny’s Sister or whomever is alleged to be behind the fraud.
You have my permission to forward this post to as many people you like who forward you these messages. And have a nice day.

Aloha oe,


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