Chili Chucker

Current mood:  amused
Category: Life

It’s my turn to blog at Nice N Naughty today and here is what I wrote:

Have y’all heard about the woman who thwarted would-be burglars by throwing a bowl of chili at them? According to yesterday’s news reports, they were so petrified of her resourceful use of kitchen utensils and her good aim with food, they took off running.
The police caught up with the guys, easily identifying them by the bits of cheese and onions still stuck to their clothing…actually I just made the last bit up. But the guys really were arrested and will probably never touch chili again.
I bet it’s still in their hair and down their shirts, in their pubes…they’ll be tasting this for weeks to come.
I loved this story because I have a couple of friends who keep muttering darkly about “In this economy” and they are fortressing their houses against phantom invasions. It’s like that Millennium nonsense all over again. These friends of mine in fact paid a whopping sum of money to take shooting classes in some clandestine militant survivalist camp in Nevada. Yup, my lady friends had to buy all manner of uniforms, knives, sheaths, gun licenses, you name it. All in the name of self protection.
All it takes is a bowl of chili!
I know they say necessity is the mother of invention and being such a foodie myself I would probably never ever chuck food at a home invader, especially if cupcakes were at risk. However I feel inspired now and I can only hope I never have to resort to such drastic measures.
I mentioned this incident to my friend who survived two sleepless nights out in the open, having a miserable time learning how to embrace hysterical fear and contagious paranoid by shooting at anything that moves.
She was impressed by the ingenuity of the woman but scoffed at the idea that the $5,000 she spent to be expensively and harmfully armed and dangerous was a waste of money.
“Chucking chili wouldn’t work in my case,” she insisted. “I can’t cook.”

Aloha oe,


Currently listening:
Blood Sugar Sex Magik
By Red Hot Chili Peppers
Release date: 1991-09-24

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