For Erik and James



By A.J. Llewellyn


Erik Rhodes, real name James Elliott Naughtin left this life last week after a long effort to do so.

We communicated online. I got to know him through my friend, director John Bruno.

I knew him just a little.

I cared about him – a lot.

He was a writer. A wonderful writer. Underneath it all (ironically the name of his former blog) was a nice man, a kind man, with tremendous insecurities that seemed unfathomable in life and especially so in his passing.

He also had a fantastic sense of humor. No matter what he did, he had a quick, sparkling wit, a self deprecation that was refreshing.

I begged him to write a book…he never did.

Upon his death, the evil, nasty Internet Trolls wrote disgusting things about him – even on his own Tumblr account. They left vicious tweets and nasty posts on various porn blogs.

What did it achieve? His family were horrified and deleted all his blogs.

For those who didn’t get a chance to know him but could have come to appreciate his searing intelligence it’s just too late.

Now even his words, his amazing words…are gone.

I have been trying to make sense of his loss as my friends, like John — his most passionate supporter, who dragged Erik into the director’s chair for Falcon Studios — grieves profoundly.

This morning it came to me. I think Erik and James would like this. I bid them farewell and a peaceful soul retreat as I offer these words:

“I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.”

― Jack London


Aloha oe,


4 Responses to “For Erik and James”

  1. Thank you AJ for posting this… I dont have the words to express how sad his loss must be to those who knew him

  2. Hi Silver thank you for your comment! I am surprised how many people contacted me privately rather than post here…as if they are afraid to express their feelings. I don’t pretend to have been a close friend of Erik’s but I sure did enjoy our interactions via email. I think those were close to him are devastated. Truly wounded. I keep hearing the same things said about him: honest, funny, nice, kind. Thanks again sweetie

  3. I’ve only come across this today. Thank you for your kind words about my brother.

  4. Hi Jon, many thanks for stopping by. I can’t imagine how much you miss James. My heart still breaks for you. I wish we all could have brothers like you.

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