By A.J. Llewellyn

by A.J. Llewellyn

I had an incredible experience on Saturday night that I wish many more people could have shared. But for those of us who witnessed the giant opening of a butterfly’s gorgeous, all-encompassing, shimmering rainbow wings at the Beth Chayim Chadashim, it was an evening none of us will ever forget.

The GLBT temple’s cantor, the enormously charismatic and talented Juval Porat, in the words of the PR brochure, threw off his cantorial  persona. He held a concert of songs and monologues on what he describes as the templates of love. Those of us who have been privileged to hear him sing week after week at the temple know he has that extra sparkle that superstars have. I have a feeling however that he himself has no clue of how seriously special he is, and that is part of his charm.

Yes, he has matinee idol good looks, a sweet smile that is haunting, and he has brains and mathematical talent on top of his high creativity. He also carries with him the heavy load of expectation. The formerly German-based Juval is the first cantor to be ordained in that country since the Holocaust. Yes, he is the shining hope of a nation still traumatized by the events of WWII.

It is his burden and an honor. I see the invisible bag of hammers he carries around and I empathize with him.

Since the city of LA snapped him up two years ago, he is the first to admit the transition was “overwhelming.” I too, came from someplace else and the culture shock of coming to America is huge.

As he performed last night with his partner, Todd, beaming from the middle row behind me, and his proud mother sitting a few seats away from me (she flew in from Israel for the event) I realized that Juval has done a lot of thinking and observing in his two years here. He has come to realize how love and fear have become horribly entwined. Not just here, but everywhere.

One of the monologues he performed from John Bowe’s book, US: Americans Talk About Love, was as a married mother of two who slowly comes to realize her true love is another woman.

His heart-breaking portrayal of Lisa Norgaard’s story was devastating. As he describes the loneliness of being free to be herself, fear transforms to slow acceptance. I saw many heads nodding. As he talked about the mingled thrill and terror of finding the one, who doesn’t come in the package she expected, it all rang true.  Juval went on to talk about how all of us at some time or other in our lives hide behind a persona of some kind, yearning to be loved. For ourselves. Just for us. For who we are…and yet, we hide behind fear.

There was humor too in his fabulous rendition of “I’m Hip” and some of his interactions with his incredible band. I personally loved his encore of Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” and as the audience rose to its feet, applauding him, his shyness seemed to rise to the surface. I hope this is the first of many loving concerts the cantor performs (the proceeds of this event are being donated to Project Chicken Soup, founded at BCC and ONE National Gay and Lesbian Archives). I hope we don’t end up losing him to a world tour and fame and riches, but I suspect not. I suspect that bag of hammers keeps him grounded and keeps him humble.

What I hope more than anything is that he keeps growing and exploring his art and the nature of Love in US.

Aloha oe,

AJ

Ever Beleno just met an older man…about two thousand years older!

By A.J. Llewellyn

Several months ago I had afternoon tea with my friend Rosie and a bunch of other people who plan esoteric day trips that had, up until this occasion never really inspired my romance novels. They were, however a much needed diversion from my computer.
Somebody casually mentioned the Mummies of the World exhibit and I was excited to join the group planning a trip there.
I asked Rosie if she wanted to go.
“Oh, no.” She actually shivered. “I’d be too afraid of something following me home.”
Dear, darling, Rosie. She inspired what has become my latest novel, The Love God of Indian Frybread.
In it, Ever Beleno, a Hollywood archivist, goes to the exhibit and is followed home by the spirit of an ancient Egyptian priest.
I went to the exhibit myself, stunned by the crush of people. I’d never heard of the Science Museum up until that day and it was an effort to get a closer look at all the mummies. I’d had no idea that Egypt wasn’t the only country to mummify people, and/or animals. The exhibit is macabre but fascinating. I had trouble with the mummified dogs, cats, monkeys and lizards etc…but in the back of my mind came the idea:
Ever Beleno just met an older man…about two thousand years older!
The story took shape quickly once I set on how I would tell my tale. I did some research into Egyptian pharaohs and also used a roommate I once had who collects Hollywood memorabilia from studio dumpsters and combined the two.
Every dumpster dive depicted is true and my mate John has the actual Lost in Space spaceship in his living room. Many years ago when we shared digs, you couldn’t get past the damned thing it took up so much er…space.
He was fond of inviting strangers over to look at his finds. I woke up one night to a lot of noise and found actor Christian Slater in our living room. I think he was a little bemused by it all, but he was apparently a huge sci-fi fan and once people got a close look at that space ship, they knew they were seeing something special.
John even had a massive gun prop from the British series Red Dwarf he hijacked from a dumpster in London. Try getting on board a plane with a five-foot weapon in this post 9/11 era.
It was fun to visit old Hollywood and recall my fondness for its history for The Love God of Indian Frybread. There are many of us who are passionate about the old stars, the old time movies and Hollywood legend.
I took my niece and nephew to Universal Studios during the writing of this book and in what was a clear case of serendipity, we rode that manic roller coaster The Mummy’s Revenge, which gave me my final piece to the book’s puzzle.
Of course, I wanted to write down verbatim what the mummy shrieks on the ride and had no trouble convincing the kids to go on it a second time. But these are, after all, the same kids who have forced me to sit through multiple viewings of the Disney movie The Hunchback of Notre Dame many times in a single weekend.
Going on a ride twice? Easy peasy.
Thanks to Amber Allure, The Love God God of Indian Frybread is out now in ebook form and soon to be released in paperback.
Please leave a comment to qualify for a paperback copy of the book!
Purchase Link and Hot Excerpt: http://www.amberquill.com/AmberAllure/LoveGod.html

By A.J. Llewellyn and D.J. Manly

The M/M author community lost a friend and wonderful author in the recent passing of Stone Richards. It shocked me because I knew I hadn’t heard from Stone for a while but had no idea he was struggling with the return of a very virulent form of cancer.

When I first started writing at eXtasy Books three and a half years ago, Stone, D.J. Manly and I were the company’s three M/M authors. Stone and I became friends via email and like D.J., was friendly, supportive and determined to keep writing the stories he loved. In spite of the continual whispers in the background of our chosen genre being a passing fad, Stone kept writing. And so did I.

Of course, it was not a fad, but had Stone not said to me during a Christmas chat we co-hosted when I had just two published books under my belt, “AJ, write the stories you want to write. Just have fun” I may have felt more pressure to write other things.

Stone wrote under a few names and who Stone really was makes no difference. But, as D.J. said when we learned of Stone’s passing, “He was one of us.”

For me, the genre of M/M was a comfortable fit. I feel passionately about my work. Stone felt passionately about work…but most passionately about living. He was always off on some big adventure. He loved casinos and I remember him cutting an author chat short to visit a riverboat casino one December afternoon. He didn’t tell the readers that. Just me.

I was a newbie and felt out of my depth when he left me alone to handle the e crowd, but I soon relaxed and found it was fun. I was also pleased to hear that he won that day.

We have all lost a great friend. A true original who wrote what he wanted to write. I hope Stone Richards is somewhere in that big casino in the sky having fun. And winning the big jackpot. I will miss him for a long, long time.

A.J.

A.J. and I spoke on the phone this morning about the passing of Stone Richards. And as I reflected on his passing, I thought the one thing I fear most about leaving this world is not being about to create and to write. So, I’m thinking that maybe since Stone put so much heart into his work, his reward will be to have a nice desk with a first class computer and a constantly brewed carafe of coffee beside him. And he can write twenty four hours a day without needing to stop the flow to do menial tasks or sleep. His audience will be a roomful of devoted readers in the form of angels who will adore everything he writes. And as he reads his work aloud, they will applaud and comment and ask a billion questions, and beg him to write more. That’s where I think Stone is.

D.J.

To Stone’s many wonderful family members, friends and fans, read one of his books today and then go out and do something grand. Do something that makes you  feel lucky. I think he would love that.

A.J. and D.J.

By A.J. Llewellyn

Several months ago when I was invited to submit a book to Silver Publishing, I took the opportunity to address the gay circuit parties that are a monthly fixture in Palm Springs. I attended one that my frequent cover model Adam Killian was performing at and was astonished at how…well, prudish I felt. I’m not a bad looking guy and my body’s okay but I’m a writer for God’s sake, not a model and no way was I gonna take off my clothes and walk around naked with the incredibly hot guys that hung out by the pool.

It gave me the idea for The Oasis and loosely based on a very dear friend’s experience in the dating scene, I created a story in which a guy with a weight problem travels to Palm Springs with his best friend for what turns out to be Gay Leather Pride. Elias is struggling with his ex best female friend for custody visits with his two-year old son, Julio. His best friend, Josh, a videographer, lures him to the gay resort, The Oasis, where Elias meets a tall, muscular handsome sex god of a man in the pool. They strike up a conversation.

What Elias doesn’t know is that the sex god is a major gay porn star.

I immediately contacted my friend Samuel Colt, who is not only a hot and sexy guy, but it turns out, a guy with a great sense of humor. Samuel had starred in the webisodes of my book Bad Cops and his threesome with Nat Lawler and Tony Aziz were the hottest scenes I’d ever seen. I approached Samuel with the idea of making him the sex god in the book and also putting him on the cover. I assured him he would have final approval of everything. I’ve never had so much fun working on a cover.

His photo, taken by my frequent collaborator, gay porn director, John Bruno, was perfect. Artist Reese Dante found perfect images to represent Josh and Elias. Samuel was in the midst of a multi-city European tour but still found time to check out the astonishing gallery Reese sent us. We had fun picking out our final cover.

Meanwhile, I had fun with the plot. Here is the scene where Elias first meets Samuel, the sex god:

 Elias felt a ripple of movement and turned his head. A big, handsome, muscular guy waved as he waded into the water.

“Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” He grinned. He wore a baseball cap and a huge, sexy grin. Man, he was hot. He lolled against the pool tiles. He must have been well over six feet, and he filled those inches well.

He-Man gave a gentle kick from those long, brawny legs, and Elias glimpsed a flash of blue swim shorts beneath the undulating water. What a hot man.

“Did you just arrive?” Elias asked.

The man smiled. “Yeah. Came down from San Francisco. I’ve never been here before.”

“Me neither. Is this your first time?”

The guy stared at him a moment.

Dumbass! He just said he’d never been here before. Pie. I need me some pie. To SHUT MY BIG MOUTH!

 Big Adonis stretched his arms out along the wall, his head tilted back against the tile. He closed his eyes. Elias figured their conversation was over and felt an uncomfortable need to explain his lunacy.

What do I say? I blame my parents? My stressful job? My ex? Say something, foo’! Like what? I’ve been on a diet and weight isn’t the only thing I lost? I seem to have misplaced the art of conversation. You seen it around someplace?

Thoughts swirled in his mind, and the silence stretched across the entire U.S. continent. Way to go, slick. You just put the guy to sleep.

He’d started wading toward the shallow end of the pool when the man in the hat said, “It’s not really my first time. I come every year.”

“Oh.”

The response surprised him. Why had Big Adonis said it was his first time? Was it a joke? Hello, nurse, I’ve lost my sense of humor as well as a ton of weight!

The guy stayed where he was, a sex god in repose, and Elias prayed for a flash of verbal brilliance. Or, at the very least, some divine intervention from the gods and goddesses of geeks everywhere.

Elias took a deep breath. “I bet you look awesome in leather.”

Holy shit! What the fuck kind of thing was that to say? Maybe if I tiptoe away quietly, I won’t embarrass myself anymore than I have…  

I threw everything I knew about Samuel from his tweets into The Oasis, including his infamous love of maple bacon donuts. Privately, he also loves cheesecake. I have no idea where he puts these things because the man doesn’t have an ounce of body fat. I also threw in some hot threesomes and for the sequel, he will come back for an anniversary bout of fun with Elias and Josh. Here is a sample of Samuel and Elias’s first hot encounter with donuts and sex:

Samuel thrust Elias’s legs open wider, pushing at his thighs until he’d pinned them to Elias’s chest. Samuel plunged right into Elias’s ass with his tongue, his lips roaming his perineum, tugging at Elias’s ball sac and back up to his cock. He brought Elias to a drowsy point of no return, then stopped.

Elias, whose body half lolled back over the counter, lifted his head and watched through one half-open eye as Samuel moved away and foraged for rubbers in his suitcase.

He stood, his cock unyielding, demanding release. Elias reached out to it. “I have to suck it.”

“You’re very oral,” Samuel said, and kissed him. “Donuts, cock…”

“I haven’t sucked a cock in months. Yours is just…spectacular.” Fever flushed Elias’s face. His thoughts dizzied him.

Samuel gaped. “Months? Really?” He frowned. “Are you sick or something?”

“No, bad break up. Lions, tigers and bears. You don’t wanna know. Frankly, I don’t want to know.”

Samuel gave him a quizzical look. He picked up Elias again, carrying him over to his massive king-size bed. With one foot he shoved the bedspread down and then dropped Elias to the cool sheets. He straddled Elias, their hard cocks colliding. He spat on Elias’s chest and nipples and began to lick and suck them. He tongued his way down Elias’s torso to his treasure trail, came back, pinning Elias’s hands above his head against the mattress and spat on his armpits. The sensation inflamed Elias’s escalation into maple-porn frenzy.

I had a lot of fun writing The Oasis. Samuel and I would like to make a copy available free to one of his fans. So please leave comment and the winner – chosen at random – will get a free PDF copy of The Oasis. Here, meanwhile is the book link at Silver Publishing:

http://silverpublishing.info/product_book_info/new-release-c-1/the-oasis-p-136

Aloha oe,

A.J.

I was heartened this morning by the news that one of my favorite actors in the world, Colin Firth has been nominated for an Academy Award for his portrayal of a gay man learning to cope with the death of his lover in Tom Ford’s movie, A Single Man based on the 1964 novel by Christopher Isherwood.Though the movie has no other significant nominations, it is encouraging to me that an actor of Firth’s stature considers this one of his best film roles and a part that he wanted so much, he was willing to physically transform himself for it. It’s interesting, he notes, that this role came to him after a huge body of work.

It’s also encouraging that his peers within the ranks of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences nominated him at a time when gay Hollywood is still battling straight Hollywood for equality.

Though I hope Firth wins, I suspect it’s Jeff Bridges’s year and I wouldn’t mind that at all. I am pleased that we have such a rich pool of talent this year in movies both serious-minded and funny.

A small corner–no, a large part–of my heart hopes Colin Firth wins, although I am a huge fan of Jeff Bridges. I hope Colin Firth is proud and pleased with his nomination. I hope he continues to pick the roles that call him. He’s never struck me as being a money-grabber. He’s always struck me as being an actor to lead with his heart.

He recently gave an interview where he talked about the significance of Isherwood’s book. A Single Man, considered to be one of the earliest and best front-runners for the gay lib movement, is still a searing book to read, perhaps because its core issues remain to this day.

Firth’s role in the movie focuses on a professor’s life after the death of his partner. I was impressed that this notion of a man–not necessarily a gay man’s–emotional life is the subject of intense scrutiny in the movie.

Ford has not shied away from the heart of the book.

Firth has won a legion of new fans for his work. I hope he and Tom Ford team up again.
Regardless of what happens on Oscar night, I hope Ford comes away with the idea of telling more significant stories of GLBT life. We need all the help and recognition we can get.
Both of these men stepped way out of their comfort zone for A Single Man. yes, Isherwood deserves nothing less. But Tom Ford, stepping away from his flashy career as a fashion designer to direct this labor of love took a huge risk, as did Firth, for trusting Ford with his ‘image.’

With California battling over the issue of gay marriage and the rest of the world still struggling with the notion of gay rights more than forty years after Isherwood wrote his novel, it is a step in the right direction that a love story, not a war movie, should lead the fight.

I wonder if Firth and Ford can know how much they sincerely achieved through their passion, their creativity…through love alone?

Aloha oe,

A.J.

Currently listening: Ke’Alaokamaile By Keali’i Reichel Release date: 2003-12-09

I was stunned when I heard the news on the radio this morning and I turned to Twitter which I knew would be buzzing with it.

I was not surprised so many people sided with Polanski saying he’s a genius and the the statute of limitations being expired on this crime.
Maybe 32 years have passed, but he still raped a little girl after giving her a mix of champagne and Quaaludes.
Geimer has always emphatically said that Polanski made his intentions clear during the shoot at Jack Nicholson’s Hollywood home.
“I said no several times, and then, well, gave up on that,” she said in a recent interview.
However brilliant and talented and artistic he is, Roman Polanski raped a child. I am glad the US finally decided to chase him down.
Geimer and her mother lived for years with accusations that she lied, that she did it for notoriety.
Poloanski, who escaped from Federal custody as he underwent psychological testing in 1978 has gone on to a bizarre, but celebrated life, even winning the Oscar for directing “The Pianist.”
It doesn’t matter what you write, direct, draw, or paint. It doesn’t give you the right to hurt. It does not give you the right to a free life on the lam when your victim knows what happened.
Polanski has never denied the incident, but like a lot of rapists, blamed his victim, even claiming it was consensual.
I am sure he won’t do time. In fact, he’ll probably get a Hollywood movie deal and in some way, whatever restitution he will be forced to make will free him from his “Wanted” status.
But for Samantha Geimer and countless other rape victims whose attackers really don’t pay for their crimes, all this will stir up painful memories.
Geimer said in a recent interview with the Honolulu Star Bulletin that she made a decision years ago to speak out about her experience. That she did nothing wrong and therefore chose not to hide.
“Straight up, what he did to me was wrong, but I wish he would return to America so the whole ordeal can be put to rest for both of us.
“After the publicity came out, I knew it was just as bad for him as it was for me. I’m sure if he could go back, he wouldn’t do it again. He made a terrible mistake but he’s paid for it.”
So has Geimer. I am glad she has her wish though, that justice for her will finally not be denied.
How about you? Do you feel Polanski should have been arrested?
Aloha oe,

A.J.

It’s my turn to blog at Nice N Naughty today and here is what I wrote:

The chips have fallen and the fabled 875,000 tickets to Michael Jackson’s funeral services this morning have been distributed. The lucky recipients of the pairs of tickets have their mottled-gold arm bracelets on – or they don’t.
My friend Lizzie called me last night, all excited that she’d won, except that she had planned to sell the tickets on Ebay (there are plenty on there already) and couldn’t because when she went down to Dodger Stadium to pick up her tickets and credentials, they forced her to don the bracelet right there and then.
Once it became obvious that ‘fans’ were selling these free tickets online and, apparently, right outside the stadium, the organizers of today’s memorial service in downtown Los Angeles, started insisting that the ticket recipients put the bracelets on immediately.
Lizzie and countless others were warned they would not be admitted to the memorial service without it.
She’s skipping work therefore to attend the service and was ecstatic and giddy. I listened to her for a moment and said,
“Lizzie, you make it sound like you’re going to a concert. It’s a funeral.”
“Oh, my God,” she said. “You’re right.”
I am a Hollywood resident and writer and many people know that I read screenplays for studios for a living but all of a sudden, after a long dry spell, I’m getting emailed requests from companies for coverage of screenplays.
Hey, I can use the money, don’t get me wrong. But like a growth attaching itself to the heart with long, grasping tentacles, I have been dismayed to see the flurry of screenplays shooting for the Green Light — all about Michael Jackson.
A few are unauthorized bios, a few are made with the participation of family members, most are screenplays that have been sitting on studio shelves for years…coming of age type stories, where the young singer is inspired by MJ.
It is sick.
He was an amazing talent, one we’ll never see again. But I have a hard time separating the legend, the talent, from all the other weird stuff. Sorry, but I do.
I wish him a nice rest in heaven. I wish his tormented soul some peace. I will always love his music. I will live with the knowledge that nobody else will ever make a video like Thriller.
And I wish that the people who ‘won’ the right to go and say goodbye to him this morning really, really wanted to be there. I know many of them do, but just as many of them just want to say, “I was there!”
Wherever he is in heaven, Michael is probably telling God, “See, I told you what it was like for me down there. I’m dead, and they want even bigger pieces of me.”
I hope the madness dies down, that people don’t keep trying to cash in on the cow whose milk has not only dried up but who cries in mortal agony.
Judging by the way people continue to cash in on say, Tupac Shakur’s untimely passing, I would say I’m dreaming.
The legend of Michael is turning into the fastest way in town to make a buck.
And this is just the beginning.

Aloha oe,
A.J.

Currently listening: Michael Jackson 25th Anniversary of Thriller By Michael Jackson Release date: 2008-02-12

Current mood:  creative
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

It’s my turn to blog at Sensual N Secret today and here is what I posted:

I’ve had a few emails from people asking me – point blank – if Adam Lambert has a chance of winning American Idol or is he simply ‘too gay’ for most of America to ‘get him?’
The question has frankly offended me but now that the final weeks of the show are waning and his private photos are showing up all over the place, I feel I have to step up, take the bat and knock one out of the gay park for him.
He is simply one of the best, most original, inspired, naturally talented performers America has ever seen. Period.
I don’t care if he likes to kiss boys or purple peonies. He is so far and above the rest of the pack on this show that the constant question of his gayness seems bizarre.
From the beginning it was obvious it would come down to him and stunning 16-year old Allison. It’ll be a three-way race between them and Danny but I believe ultimately talent will win.
Adam has that special ‘something’ that I do think America gets. All that talent and his plain niceness also shines through. It’s a rare and unbeatable combination.
Leaking his kissy-boy pics on the Internet doesn’t seem to have hurt him so far and I am glad that people can see past his private life and enjoy his talent for what it is.
Absolutely awesome.
Most of my friends tune in to see what he’s going to come up with each week and his ingenuity each and every time is dazzling.
And yet, I google his name and the snide critics always throw in the word gay.
Heck, I market myself as a gay erotic romance author but this is my niche. I’ve had people on MySpace decline me as a friend, I suspect for that very reason, but I don’t see people plastering my private pics on the web asking if I’m too gay to sell books!
Sex is great. Sex is my bread and butter as a writer. But what an artist – any artist – chooses to do with somebody they love really has nothing to do with their ability to sell their work.
Adam Lambert is the best new ambassador for music. Period. Regardless of his private passions.
I hope America doesn’t disappoint me in four weeks, but then I tend to lead with my heart.
I truly believe Adam Lambert is one of the most exciting, talented new performers I’ve seen in a long time.
I hope America feels the same way.

Aloha oe,
A.J.

Currently listening: Kamalei: Collection – Two By Kealii Reichel Release date: 2008-12-09