My Lifeline

By A.J. Llewellyn
When I was six, I lost my precious mother to a horrible, disgusting, slow, painful disease. Colon cancer took her from me when she was 37. I never got the chance to say goodbye to her. All I had left of her was the book of fairy tales she used to read to me. My father, in his grief, packed up all our belongings shortly after her funeral and whilst I was at school, he moved us in with my grandma. He had left most of our treasured toys behind and our books…except the fairy tales.
That book was a lifeline for me. I stared at the pictures at night to comfort myself. I read the words over and over…imagining she was still there with me, talking to me, laughing with me, assuring me that no dream was too big.
Words became my refuge. My days and nights were spent reading and writing. I wrote my first book at the age of 8. My dad began to worry about me.
And then he bought me my first typewriter.
It became my obsession. It was a small portable Olivetti and I taught myself to type. It’s been my chosen work tool ever since. I still have my first typewriter. It will always be in my life no matter how many laptops and desktops I go through.
Several months ago I began volunteering at Braille Institute doing Dots for Tots. It is work I am passionate about and deeply committed to.
One of the books I have worked on the most is Little Quack’s Bedtime. It is an important book for blind children because just like Little Quack, many blind children fear the dark and fear bedtime.
This book reminds me each time I touch it, work with it, and dot it, how lucky most of us are. This is not something most of us have to deal with. It’s been explained to me that sleep time is the time parents fear as much as their blind children because they have to leave them alone.
I hope as I progress in my work with Braille that I can help ease children’s fear of being alone in the dark. I hope they will have simply dozens of books to read, to transport them to different places. Just like any kid.
I do belive in the power of story. And I believe in fairy tales.
Today, I feel my mother is with me as I begin a new phase in my journey, learning how to transcribe Braille. This feels like a giant step and a right one.
The wonderful people at Braille are giving me a Braille Machine (see above) that looks a lot like my old Olivetti.
I can’t wait to complete Boot Camp on Thursday and then start the 12-month course so I can be a licensed transcriber.
My hope is that I can contribute to the inner lives of blind children, who just like me, need the lifeline of the written word. Our schools have neglected these children for too long. I was shocked to learn that 80% of blind children who are not taught to read Braille don’t graduate high school or go on to tertiary education. They wind up on social security.
Braille is coming back with a vengeance in our schools and our world. The best part about all this is that Braille books and services are FREE.
Just as I get a thrill out of knowing all the books I put dots on are going to a child who will love learning to read, I will love learning how to make those dots in the first place.
There is a part of me who is still that lonely kid who believes in fairy tales. I feel like Cinderfella, about to enter the ball.
Just me and my Braille Machine. And I can’t wait!
Aloha oe,

The Sex God


By A.J. Llewellyn

Several months ago when I was invited to submit a book to Silver Publishing, I took the opportunity to address the gay circuit parties that are a monthly fixture in Palm Springs. I attended one that my frequent cover model Adam Killian was performing at and was astonished at how…well, prudish I felt. I’m not a bad looking guy and my body’s okay but I’m a writer for God’s sake, not a model and no way was I gonna take off my clothes and walk around naked with the incredibly hot guys that hung out by the pool.

It gave me the idea for The Oasis and loosely based on a very dear friend’s experience in the dating scene, I created a story in which a guy with a weight problem travels to Palm Springs with his best friend for what turns out to be Gay Leather Pride. Elias is struggling with his ex best female friend for custody visits with his two-year old son, Julio. His best friend, Josh, a videographer, lures him to the gay resort, The Oasis, where Elias meets a tall, muscular handsome sex god of a man in the pool. They strike up a conversation.

What Elias doesn’t know is that the sex god is a major gay porn star.

I immediately contacted my friend Samuel Colt, who is not only a hot and sexy guy, but it turns out, a guy with a great sense of humor. Samuel had starred in the webisodes of my book Bad Cops and his threesome with Nat Lawler and Tony Aziz were the hottest scenes I’d ever seen. I approached Samuel with the idea of making him the sex god in the book and also putting him on the cover. I assured him he would have final approval of everything. I’ve never had so much fun working on a cover.

His photo, taken by my frequent collaborator, gay porn director, John Bruno, was perfect. Artist Reese Dante found perfect images to represent Josh and Elias. Samuel was in the midst of a multi-city European tour but still found time to check out the astonishing gallery Reese sent us. We had fun picking out our final cover.

Meanwhile, I had fun with the plot. Here is the scene where Elias first meets Samuel, the sex god:

 Elias felt a ripple of movement and turned his head. A big, handsome, muscular guy waved as he waded into the water.

“Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” He grinned. He wore a baseball cap and a huge, sexy grin. Man, he was hot. He lolled against the pool tiles. He must have been well over six feet, and he filled those inches well.

He-Man gave a gentle kick from those long, brawny legs, and Elias glimpsed a flash of blue swim shorts beneath the undulating water. What a hot man.

“Did you just arrive?” Elias asked.

The man smiled. “Yeah. Came down from San Francisco. I’ve never been here before.”

“Me neither. Is this your first time?”

The guy stared at him a moment.

Dumbass! He just said he’d never been here before. Pie. I need me some pie. To SHUT MY BIG MOUTH!

 Big Adonis stretched his arms out along the wall, his head tilted back against the tile. He closed his eyes. Elias figured their conversation was over and felt an uncomfortable need to explain his lunacy.

What do I say? I blame my parents? My stressful job? My ex? Say something, foo’! Like what? I’ve been on a diet and weight isn’t the only thing I lost? I seem to have misplaced the art of conversation. You seen it around someplace?

Thoughts swirled in his mind, and the silence stretched across the entire U.S. continent. Way to go, slick. You just put the guy to sleep.

He’d started wading toward the shallow end of the pool when the man in the hat said, “It’s not really my first time. I come every year.”


The response surprised him. Why had Big Adonis said it was his first time? Was it a joke? Hello, nurse, I’ve lost my sense of humor as well as a ton of weight!

The guy stayed where he was, a sex god in repose, and Elias prayed for a flash of verbal brilliance. Or, at the very least, some divine intervention from the gods and goddesses of geeks everywhere.

Elias took a deep breath. “I bet you look awesome in leather.”

Holy shit! What the fuck kind of thing was that to say? Maybe if I tiptoe away quietly, I won’t embarrass myself anymore than I have…  

I threw everything I knew about Samuel from his tweets into The Oasis, including his infamous love of maple bacon donuts. Privately, he also loves cheesecake. I have no idea where he puts these things because the man doesn’t have an ounce of body fat. I also threw in some hot threesomes and for the sequel, he will come back for an anniversary bout of fun with Elias and Josh. Here is a sample of Samuel and Elias’s first hot encounter with donuts and sex:

Samuel thrust Elias’s legs open wider, pushing at his thighs until he’d pinned them to Elias’s chest. Samuel plunged right into Elias’s ass with his tongue, his lips roaming his perineum, tugging at Elias’s ball sac and back up to his cock. He brought Elias to a drowsy point of no return, then stopped.

Elias, whose body half lolled back over the counter, lifted his head and watched through one half-open eye as Samuel moved away and foraged for rubbers in his suitcase.

He stood, his cock unyielding, demanding release. Elias reached out to it. “I have to suck it.”

“You’re very oral,” Samuel said, and kissed him. “Donuts, cock…”

“I haven’t sucked a cock in months. Yours is just…spectacular.” Fever flushed Elias’s face. His thoughts dizzied him.

Samuel gaped. “Months? Really?” He frowned. “Are you sick or something?”

“No, bad break up. Lions, tigers and bears. You don’t wanna know. Frankly, I don’t want to know.”

Samuel gave him a quizzical look. He picked up Elias again, carrying him over to his massive king-size bed. With one foot he shoved the bedspread down and then dropped Elias to the cool sheets. He straddled Elias, their hard cocks colliding. He spat on Elias’s chest and nipples and began to lick and suck them. He tongued his way down Elias’s torso to his treasure trail, came back, pinning Elias’s hands above his head against the mattress and spat on his armpits. The sensation inflamed Elias’s escalation into maple-porn frenzy.

I had a lot of fun writing The Oasis. Samuel and I would like to make a copy available free to one of his fans. So please leave comment and the winner – chosen at random – will get a free PDF copy of The Oasis. Here, meanwhile is the book link at Silver Publishing:

Aloha oe,



Fawnskin 2: Frenzied OUT NOW!


Purchase Link:

Fawnskin, Book 2: Frenzied
by A. J. Llewellyn & D. J. Manly

ISBN-13: 978-1-61124-030-6 (Electronic)
ISBN-13: 978-1-61124-987-3 (Paperback)

In this exciting sequel to Fawnskin, many mysteries are solved, mysteries which sprang from a young drifter’s job at the Lakeside Funeral Home.

Ever since Knox fell asleep and released Harold Herxhiemer’s spirit, the town of Fawnskin has never been the same, and probably never will again.

As Knox’s and Rallus’ relationship blossoms, a dark cloud begins to move into Fawnskin, a cloud from Knox’s past that threatens to rip him away from the man he so passionately loves. And those who were presumed silenced forever continue to walk, descending on Fawnskin and seeking their revenge.

What will happen to the citizens of this fair town? Will Rallus and Knox find the answers they seek, or will unseen forces hold the town in its grip and destroy everyone and everything in its wake?

NOTE: Don’t miss the final Fawnskin book, coming 2011 from Amber Allure!

Genres: Gay / Paranormal / Psychic Phenomena / Suspense / Thriller / BDSM / Series
Heat Level: 3
Advisory: This book contains hardcore bondage and punishment, torture, and nonconsensual sex. May not be suitable for the more sensitive reader.
Length: Novel (40k words / TBD paperback pages)

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