Author, A. J. Llewellyn

I was interested to read the latest statistics about divorce across the USA. It’s down…the lowest it’s been in forty years.

This is good news to me, since I live in California where we have the highest divorce rate in the nation. Something happens to people who move here (especially movie people) where they feel obligated to unshackle themselves the moment they see the Hollywood sign.

However, according to the report I read, divorce is down because of the economy, not because we’ve all found that lovin’ feeling again.

I have no idea which couples were polled for this report, but it states that unhappily married people are staying together and agreeing to…well, cheat.

I discussed this interesting turn of events with some friends last night.

My women friends think it’s good. Keeping the cheating out in the open is a good thing, especially if both couples get to sow a few crazy oats.

“Maybe they get jealous and fall in love again,” one friend suggested.

An interesting POV from a woman whose husband cheated on her. She found out when the girlfriend started calling and harrassing her when he refused to run off with her.

Then she started posting photos of them bumping uglies on MySpace.

It’s true that a policy of honesty eliminates the Bunny Boiler factor…or does it?

What if a couple agrees to cheat but one of them is stuck at home on a Saturday night while the other one is off with their new bed buddy.

Besides, isn’t one of the major benefits of being married that you don’t have to worry about dating anymore?

Is all this…healthy?

My best friend Tony said on the phone last night that the Europeans have been enjoying extramarital pleasures for centuries.

“Look at the French,” he said. “They have adultery down. They have made it an art form. I was I’d been born French.”

Another friend said,

“I like the idea of a Victorian marriage, with separate bedrooms, separate bathrooms…a quiet rendezvous. The hubby sneaks into the house in the wee hours of the morning…and ten minutes later, so does his wife.”Another intriguing aspect to the report I read was the opinion poll of many er…Other Women.

They’re still getting the short end of the stick. They still misses out on vacations (sometimes), family events, holiday dinners and now…most are accepting that their lovers have no money to spend on them.

So what do they get out of it?

The same thing they always got, I guess.

So, is this a good or bad thing?

Personally, I feel if children are involved, keeping the family together is a very cool thing.

But is saving a truly bad marriage – at any cost – worth it?

The philosopher Khalil Gibran once said about marriage: “Let there be spaces in your togetherness.”

I don’t think he meant the kind of spaces that involve a lover, a room in a cheap motel, dinner at Sharky’s and a miserable spouse sitting at home alone.

Can two people fall in love again? I’d like to think so…in the meantime, I’d like to know what you think…

Aloha oe,

A.J.