Come By Chance – OUT NOW! Enter the Draw to Win a FREE COPY!

ComeByChance (1)

 

Come By Chance is out NOW at Amber Allure – purchase link: http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2133-Come-By-Chance.aspx

Hearts on Fire Reviews is giving away a FREE COPY today! Go for it!

Psst! Wanna win a free book? Mosey on over to Hearts on Fire for a chance to win. Good luck, pardner! http://heartsonfirereviews.com/?p=32391 

Come to where the flavor is—crazy Aussie outback cowboy country, where men are men and kangaroos are nervous…

When photographer’s assistant Gary Holland meets three Australian underpants models—all called Bruce—on what should be a routine shoot in L.A., it turns out to be anything but. He falls for the geekiest, yet sexiest, Bruce of them all, but soon learns Bruce has not only never been with another man but is an anxious virgin.

Bruce lives in the whimsically named town of Come By Chance in northern New South Wales, population 178. After a torrid fling starts in California, Bruce wants Gary to visit him in the land down under. Shocks, laughter, love, a shy kangaroo named Phillip, a goose called Zeus, and a tractor that thinks it’s a horse soon welcome Gary to a life he never thought he’d want to live.

Can two men who are such opposites make a life together? Does love like this really come by chance?

Genres: Gay / Contemporary / Western (Modern Day) / Action / Adventure / Romantic Comedy / Ménage (M/M/M) / Group Sex / Voyeurism
Heat Level: 3
Length: Novella (22k words)

Purchase Link: http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2133-Come-By-Chance.aspx
Excerpt:

..Once we’d refueled, we could jump on the freeway heading north to the Ojai Valley.

Cruising down Century Boulevard, they all seemed to be intrigued by everything. Bruce Two pointed to a billboard announcing the end of the world on May twenty-first. I couldn’t believe it was still up there, even though this proclamation had been a fiasco for the nutty preacher, Harold Camping. How come nobody had defaced the damned thing? Where were all the L.A. street taggers when you needed them?

Bruce Three thought this was “bloody funny, mate.” And, of course, he took a picture.

I found myself defending my city, trying to assure him the billboard’s presence was a mistake. “It shouldn’t still be up there. They all thought the world would explode and there’d be no need to take them down.”

He nodded, not in the least bit interested. At the corner of Sepulveda, his eyes popped open wide.

“Christ! Struth! Is that a prostitute?” He pointed at a young woman in a skimpy gym outfit, carrying one of those ubiquitous yoga mats everyone carries in L.A. She’d just walked out of 24 Hour Fitness.

“No. She’s waiting to cross the road.” Too late. He pressed the switch and lowered his window.

“Excuse me,” he shouted at her. “Are you a genuine prostitute?”

Lord, was I embarrassed. His friends in the backseat roared with laughter. She looked mortified, and I gunned the gas, almost getting into an accident. Of course, he took a picture.

I seethed all the way up La Cienega Boulevard. The Bruces asked how to pronounce it. They were pretty funny. I wondered how they all got selected as the men of Beach Body Brigade. Turns out the first two were professional models who had no idea their agents had submitted them to the contest. Bruce Three had won a magazine contest run simultaneously.

“Yeah,” he said in a casual tone. “I got hired because I have a huge dick.”

“Excuse me?” I was so startled, I almost rear-ended an SUV with a sticker reading,I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather…not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car, on the back window.

“He didn’t ask me for one,” Bruce Virgil chimed in.

“Me neither,” Bruce Owen said.

“The photographer…what’s his name? Duke? He asked me for a nude photo. He said the company wanted a big dick for the new Mega Underwear line.”

I didn’t know what to say. Oh, boy. That sounds like Duke. He’s such a horn dog.

“Wanna see it?” he asked. The other guys in the back seat were laughing their asses off.

My slippery hands, thanks to Bruce Three’s tanning goop, fell off the wheel. Was he barking mad?

His friends in the back laughed.

“I have a girlfriend,” he said, his face turning red. “I just thought you’d like a gander. Not here or anything. You know, later. In the loo, maybe.”

If he was straight, why was he so eager to show me his cock? I turned to look at him. Bits of tissue had stuck to his skin and his face now looked like an abstract painting of red, orange, and white dots.

“Good for you.” I felt this was the safest response. “Not that I’m a size queen or anything.” Oops. I’d just told them all that I was gay.

“They’re poofs too,” he said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. His voice grew louder. “I am not.”

“Really?” Bruce One asked. “Then why did your cock get so hard when I rubbed your crotch on the plane?”

“I was asleep. I was dreaming of my girlfriend.” Bruce Three had darkened to a frightening shade of plum. Only a man in deep denial could get this upset…

Enslaved Valentine BDSM Voyages Book 1 is here!!!

Displaying Enslaved Valentine BDSM Voyages Book 1.jpg

Ensalved Valentine by A.J. Llewellyn and D.J. Manly – purchase link: http://www.stiffrainpress.com/m8/58-978-1-62344-067-1–ensalved-valentine-by-a-j-llewellyn-and-d-j-manly.html
BDSM Voyages, Book One
 
Hamish never thought he’d want to be dominated until Paul Murdock showed up with the key to his padlocked heart.
It’s been said that all a submissive can do when they are bound and tied, is feel. For former boxer Hamish Murdock, all he’s ever done is feel. Feel bad that is. He never took pleasure from pain until meeting Paul, whom he thinks of as his tikkun, the man who rights all the wrongs in his life. For Paul and Hamish, pain is pleasure in their most secret, private moments. On the outside, they are a normal, devoted couple with successful businesses…
But deep down, theirs is a strict D/s relationship that’s about to be tested in their first BDSM vacation. Paul’s chosen a secret destination for Hamish in their Valentine’s Day long-weekend. Can Hamish handle what Paul has in mind? More importantly, will Paul be able to keep his secret and keep his man under control? Or will their first BDSM voyage be their last?

WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT. YOU MUST BE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OF AGE TO PURCHASE THIS TITLE.

  
PRICE: $2.99
RELEASE DATE: 02/11/15
ISBN: 978-1-62344-067-1
CATEGORY: Erotic Literature, Gay Fiction, BDSM, Love Story
ELEMENTS:  Adult Content, Adult Language, Explicit Description of Sexual Intimacy, Violence, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Group Sex/Orgy, BDSM, Master/slave relationship.
LENGTH: 23,069
FORMAT: E-BOOK  
Purchase Kink, er, Link: http://www.stiffrainpress.com/m8/58-978-1-62344-067-1–ensalved-valentine-by-a-j-llewellyn-and-d-j-manly.html

 

Guest Blog: ANDREW Q. GORDON – Enter the Draw to WIN!!

Displaying First Love BT Banner.jpg

Hey gang! The amazing and uber-talented ANDREW Q.GORDON is here talking about his gorgeous new book, FIRST LOVE!

Not only that, there are prizes, oh yes! Prizes galore! Check out these goodies and enter the rafflecopter below!

GIVEAWAY DETAILS:  

Andrew Q. Gordon is giving away the following: -     

$15 DSP Gift Card -     

An E-copy of “Third Eye” by Rick R. Reed -     

An E-copy of “Ghost” by Carole Cummings -      A

n E-copy of a book by J. TullosHennig  

Contest Begins: 27th January, 2015 Contest Ends:9th February, 2015

Take it away Andrew!

Thanks for having me today, AJ.

First Love has its origin in what was basically one sentence in The Last Grand Master. At one point Farrell tells Prince Peter of Belsport in passing about his first love. It was ten years before the opening of The Last Grand Master and Farrell’s mother—Queen Zenora—and teacher—Heminaltose—were still alive.

First Love not only shows what Farrell was like before the war began, it also let’s me show his mother and teacher, through his eyes.

Of all the characters in the series, Farrell is naturally the most fleshed out. The story is through his eyes. But what of the secondary characters?  The Champion of the Gods series is well over 2 million words long. Much of that is filler and background that I wrote to flesh out the story that will never see the light of a Kindle. Writing it, however, made it easier to write the entire story.

One of the characters we meet in First Love is Heminaltose—Grand Master Heminaltose to be exact. When The Champion of the Gods begins with The Last Grand Master, Heminaltose is dead. He died at Yar-del, along with Queen Zenora so we only get bits and pieces of him and his personality during the books.

Heminaltose was Farrell’s first and most important teacher and helped shape his student’s character. He considered the latter task his most important. As the son of both Queen Zenora and Meglar, Heminaltose kept a close watch on Farrell. Any sign his student might turn out like his father would require Heminaltose to take swift action to neutralize this threat. Always mindful he might need to kill his student, Heminaltose maintained as much distance as he could with Farrell.

Heminaltose was over a thousand years old when he died, many considered him the greatest wizard of his time. By the time Heminaltose was born, Grand Master Kel had been gone for over a thousand years. No one saw him die, but no one saw him again after he abdicated the throne of Yar-del. A contemporary of Kel’s, Grand Master Beatrice, taught Heminaltose for the first few years of his training, but she died when he was still a young man. History would debate who was the better wizard, Kel or Beatrice, but once they were gone, there was no one to challenge Heminaltose’s claim until Meglar rose to power.

Unlike Kel, who was an innovator, Heminaltose was more of a perfectionist. Kel liked to test the limits and find new ways to use magic, whereas Heminaltose experimented with how use magic more efficiently. The two never met, and it was unlikely they would have been friends.

Several centuries before his death, Heminaltose found the entrance to an abandoned outpost of Trellham on the plains of Gharaha. Though Heminaltose never spoke of it, Honorus led him to the spot with instructions to build his new school inside the abandon town. To the world, he told the story that he was search for somewhere to build his school and chanced upon the partially damaged gates.

When Meglar stole the Source from Yar-del, King Bren of Yar-del and Heminaltose made plans to enlarge the living area to accommodate the survivors of Yar-del should it fall. With time it began more evident that Meglar’s theft would give him an insurmountable edge, Heminaltose and Queen Zenora, Bren’s daughter, expanded the sanctuary against the day all the Seven Kingdoms fell.

Of course Farrell knew nothing about the instructions his mother and grandfather gave Heminaltose.To Farrell, his teacher was aloof and disinterested in him as a person. In truth, Heminaltose cared for Farrell a great deal, but never showed it for fear he’d get too close to his student should he need to take action.

Although Heminaltose dies before the series proper begins, he will be ‘appear’ throughout the series. He had too great an influence on Farrell to be relegated to a sentence or two in passing.  My hope is do a few more free prequels during the series and a younger Heminaltose is near the top of the list to have his own story.

Enjoy!
firstlove

PUBLISHER:DSP Publication

 

SERIES:Champion of the Gods

 

RELEASE DATE:27thJanuary 2015

 

LENGTH:40 Pages

 

BLURB:Prequel to The Last Grand Master
A Champion of the Gods Story

On a visit to Yar-del with Grand Master Heminaltose to celebrate his age of majority birthday, Farrell catches the eye of Lieutenant Cameron, a handsome young officer in the Queen’s Guard. But having spent most of his life cooped up at Heminaltose’s school for wizards, Farrell is clueless as to palace intrigue. He is unaware that his access to the queen is something others would greatly prize. When the queen points out that his suitor is the son of a social climbing minor noble, Farrell must decide whether to heed the warning or meet with Cameron anyway.

 

BUY LINKS:

 

DSP Publication – http://www.dsppublications.com/books/first-love-by-andrew-q-gordon-72-b

All Romance eBooks – https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-firstlove-1729343-234.html

Amazon – http://www.amazon.com/First-Love-Champion-Andrew-Gordon-ebook/dp/B00SM1UTOQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1422104210&sr=1-1

 

EXCERPT

 

Tenth hour would take an eternity to arrive, but they both had to attend to their duties. Although Cameron seemed suitably impressed by his appointment, it didn’t improve Farrell’s mood.

 

He stopped himself as he started to think of ways to get out of dinner. Not going wasn’t an option. More importantly, Heminaltose only allowed Farrell brief visits to Yar-del City to see his mother. Skipping dinner meant one less chance to spend time with her. And he’d see Cameron at tenth hour.

 

“Boy.” The deep voice behind Farrell made him freeze.

 

He turned slowly but already knew who he’d find. “Master Heminaltose.”

 

Dressed in his formal blue-gray robe, he leaned on his white wooden staff and tilted his head to the left. “What brings you to this out-of-the-way place? And why are you just standing there?”

 

Farrell had been in trouble often enough to know his master suspected him of something. When he tried to answer, his mouth went dry and his tongue turned to stone.

 

“Well?” The older man raised his bushy white eyebrows and peered down his nose at his student. “I’m waiting for an answer.”

 

His euphoric mood dashed, Farrell knew better than to lie. “I came here to meet someone.”

 

“Someone?”

 

“Yes, Master, someone.” This approach never worked, but he’d been too embarrassed to answer directly.

 

“Don’t treat me like a fool.”

 

Despite being at least an inch taller than his teacher, Farrell felt like Heminaltose towered over him.

 

“I’m not, Master. I… I just….” His cheeks flushed and he started to sweat. “I’d rather not say.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“It’s private.”

 

“Private? You mean…?” Heminaltose jerked his head back and his eyes opened wider. “By the Six! Now? Your hormones have decided to kick in now?”

 

AUTHOR BIO: Andrew Q. Gordon wrote his first story back when yellow legal pads, ball point pens were common and a Smith Corona correctable typewriter was considered high tech. Adapting with technology, he now takes his MacBook somewhere quiet when he wants to write.

 

He currently lives in the Washington, D.C. area with his partner of nineteen years, their daughter and dog.  In addition to dodging some very self-important D.C. ‘insiders’, Andrew uses his commute to catch up on his reading. When not working or writing, he enjoys soccer, high fantasy, baseball and seeing how much coffee he can drink in a day.

 

AUTHOR LINKS:

Website: www.andrewqgordon.com

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/andrewqugordon

Twitter:  @andrewqgordon

Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+AndrewQGordon

E-mail: andrewqgordon@gmail.com

 

GIVEAWAY DETAILS:

 

Andrew Q. Gordon is giving away the following:

-      $15 DSP Gift Card

-      An E-copy of “Third Eye” by Rick R. Reed

-      An E-copy of “Ghost” by Carole Cummings

-      An E-copy of a book by J. TullosHennig

 

Contest Begins: 27th January, 2015

Contest Ends:9th February, 2015

firstlove

Rafflecopter giveaway

El Camino – Spanish Edition of The Camino is OUT NOW!

el camino

Available on Amazon – other outlets to follow! 

Purchase Link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SSQZ0OE

Synopsis:

Un seminarista de California conoce al hombre de sus sueños durante un recorrido a pie en España. Antonio no tiene ni la menor idea… de que el apuesto Jeb es un demonio tormenta. 

Cada año, miles de personas hacen un viaje espiritual llamado El Camino, una antigua travesía por Europa, cruzando Francia, Portugal y España. Cuando Antonio se embarca en El Camino, está a un paso de convertirse en diácono de transición, la fase final antes de ser sacerdote, pero siente que su nuevo deseo por otros hombres viola su vocación elegida. Incluso mientras se cuestiona su capacidad para entrar en la vida religiosa, sus sueños son perseguidos por un misterioso y guapo extraño que despierta sus pasiones. En el viaje conoce a un compañero peregrino, Jeb, quien está cuestionando su propia vida y busca respuestas. Jeb se parece al hombre de sus sueños…

 

English Language:

A California seminarian meets the man of his dreams during a walking tour of Spain. Little does Antonio know…handsome Jeb is a storm demon.

Each year thousands of people make a spiritual journey called The Camino, an ancient walk through Europe, crisscrossing through France, Portugal and Spain. When Antonio embarks on The Camino, he is one step away from becoming a transitional deacon, the final phase before becoming a priest, but feels his new-found desire for other men violates his chosen vocation. Even as he questions his ability to enter the religious life, his dreams are haunted by a handsome mysterious stranger who rouses his passions. On the journey he meets a fellow pilgrim, Jeb, who is questioning his own life and seeking answers. Jeb looks just like the man in his dreams…

Little does he know, the choices he needs to make in his heart are about to get more difficult…than he could ever have imagined. How can he, a man devoted to God’s work, possibly love a man who has sold his soul to the devil?

Publisher’s note: This book has been previously published, re-edited and re-released with Ai Press.

English edition purchase link: http://www.amazon.com/Camino-AJ-Llewellyn-ebook/dp/B00GDL1U40/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1422383211&sr=1-1&keywords=the+camino+a.j.+llewellyn

 

Knight Moves! – NEW Amber Allure PAX is OUT NOW!

Against A Wounded LandscapeLusty Knights Of BlazeOut Of TimeOh, What A KnightTender Is The Knight

KNIGHT MOVES is an Amber PAX anthology of five separate stories with one theme in common: this one involves knights. Buy one, or buy them all!

Here is the collective link:

http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2113-AmberPax-Knight-Moves.aspx

And below are purchase links for each title and a synopsis of each:

 

Against a Wounded Landscape by Vivien Dean – Purchase link: http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2108-Against-A-Wounded-Landscape.aspx

Synopsis:

Sir Tanash, the greatest knight Tasora has ever known, has one quest—to rescue his king’s only son. Fifteen years ago, Princy Liseny was kidnapped, and in the time since, Tasora has crumbled. By bringing the prince home, Tanash hopes to return the kingdom to its former glory.

As captive in a rival land, Liseny has spent most of his life locked away from the world, brought out as the ultimate prize while his real home is slowly destroyed. Escape is a godsend. So is Tanash, but neither is as simple as Liseny hopes. He has to learn to adjust in more ways than one. Though Tanash refuses to act on their mutual attraction, he does agree to help Liseny seek out an alliance to take back to Tasora.

What he doesn’t expect is to fall for the young prince along the way…

Genres: Gay / Fantasy / BDSM (Light)
Heat Level: 2
Length: Extended Novella (39k words)

Lusty Knights of Blaze by D.J. Manly – Purchase link: http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2109-Lusty-Knights-Of-Blaze.aspx

Synopsis:

Years ago, the town of Waken Loch was conquered by the ruthless King Bastian and his overwhelming forces, and the occupation of the land changed Karnal Fugitaine’s world forever. During the intervening years, the king ruled with an iron fist, executing anyone who resisted, including Karnal’s father, and his soldiers transformed Waken Loch into a town no longer recognizable to its natives. The king’s men also coveted everything within the town, including Karnal’s older sister, Sarah, who died after giving birth to a child conceived in rape by one of the king’s lusty knights of Blaze.

The night Sarah was forced to serve the soldiers at the inn where she worked, one man was seen urging her toward his room, insisting she bring him fresh linens and supplies. That man was a knight named Dustin Porter.

Now, Karnal won’t rest until he finally locates Dustin and enacts his long-sought revenge. But the more Karnal learns about what happened to his sister all those years ago, and the handsome knight of Blaze named Dustin to whom he grudgingly finds himself attracted, the more he begins to wonder…is Dustin truly the culprit after all?

Genres: Gay / Fantasy / Ménage (M/M/M) / Group Sex
Heat Level: 3
Length: Novella (28k words)

Out of Time by A.J. Llewellyn Purchase link: http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2111-Out-Of-Time.aspx

Synopsis:

Biologist Arlo Perez has spent his whole life avoiding decisions, confrontations, anything concrete. Anything resembling a commitment. When his lover, Miguel, dumps him, a depressed Arlo decides to put down roots in Merced, a small California town nestled between Yosemite and the old gold-panning country region. There, he secures a new fellowship at a college and looks forward to adventure and fun.

But just as he’s getting used to normal, he gets a whole lot more than he bargained for.

One day when his car breaks down, Arlo winds up at the mercy of a deranged garage owner in Port Hueneme. And somehow, he finds himself tossed back in time to an era of knights, dragons, and pit fights. Suddenly, he’s in Mexico, 1867, and there’s only one way out—fight or die.

Can Arlo get himself out of this horrible and confusing mess? Can he stop feeling out of place and out of his senses? Or is he completely out of time?

Genres: Gay / Fantasy / Time Travel / Paranormal / Action / Adventure
Heat Level: 3
Length: Novella (20k words)

Oh, What a Knight by Vivien Dean – Purchase link: http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2110-Oh-What-A-Knight.aspx

Synopsis:

(Part of the Peninsula Heights series)

Following the death of his employer, Harvey St. Onge—a local gay man with a reputation for attracting handsome young men and throwing wild parties at his country estate—Griffin Andrews is literally on the outside looking in. Harv had promised to take care of Griff, but when the lawyer shows up and Griff is paid off and shown the door with the rest of the staff, he figures Harv “forgot” his promise. Now, Griff may be stuck in the country, miles from anywhere with no transportation and no proof of Harv’s promise, but he’s a survivor. So he packs what he can carry and starts walking.

Partway into his journey, however, a handsome motorist stops and offers Griff a lift. Shane Walker says he’s just going as far as Peninsula Heights. But by the time they get there, Griff’s life has done a fast one-eighty. He has a new friend, the promise of a job, and a place to stay. It all sounds too good be true.

Now Griff has to wonder—is Shane really Griff’s proverbial “white knight in shining armor” riding to his rescue, or something else?…

Genres: Gay / Contemporary / Series
Heat Level: 3
Length: Extended Amber Kiss (17k words)

Tender is the Knight by K-lee Klein – Purchase link: http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2112-Tender-Is-The-Knight.aspx

Synopsis:

Tristan is a skilled knight, sworn to defend the Kingdom of Leadon. He’s devoted his life to being the best he can be, and he’s as steadfast and loyal as his knighted father was before him. But when the king of Leadon informs Tristan he’s arranged a marriage for him in order to unite Leadon with a neighboring kingdom, Tristan, for the first time, balks at an order. He cannot and will not marry the princess because his heart already belongs to another.

Clayne is the poor assistant to the village blacksmith, and content with his station in life. Especially since he has the love and support of a very special man…his very own tender knight. He and Tristan grew up together, forging a bond first of friendship, and then of love, and even when Tristan became a knight of the kingdom, nothing could shake them apart. But the king’s command that Tristan marry a princess just might.

When the king threatens Clayne’s life to get his way, Tristan is forced to choose between following the dictate to save the man he loves, or a riskier plan that will endanger them both and challenge everything in which they believe…

Genres: Gay / Fantasy / Witchcraft / Magic
Heat Level: 3
Length: Novella (29k words)

 

Back to Black Point is OUT NOW!

backtoblackpoint2

Back to Black Point – book 2 in my flagship series with the amazing D.J. Manly is OUT NOW at Mojocastle Press!

Purchase Link: http://www.mojocastle.com/back-to-black-point-black-point-book-2.html

About the Story:

Erotic romance authors Thomas Carter and Matt Lucas have ‘met cute’ as they say in Hollywood movies. They’ve fallen in love over a blissful weekend in balmy, tropical Black Point in the Hawaiian Islands.Separation is devastating for Matt, who returns to his home in California, pining for Thomas who abruptly cuts off all communication. Why has their volcanic passion been reduced to two impersonal lines in an email?Emboldened by his brother Ryan’s heartfelt advice, Matt flies to Montreal and to Thomas’s home in Montreal’s Gay Village, hoping to rekindle their idyllic romance, only to find him with another man–Christian–the same man who almost destroyed Ryan’s marriage to his husband Cole. What is Christian doing with Thomas, and what are his true motives?

With trust a big issue on both sides, can love find a way? And will Thomas and Matt survive the obstacles fate seems to keep throwing at them? Matt wants to give Thomas everything, but will Thomas let him?

 

Excerpt:

 

They had the house to themselves. They kicked off their shoes at the front door as was the custom in the Hawaiian Islands, and with the soft, fragrant breeze luring them from the wide-open sliding glass doors across the spacious living room, Matt and Thomas looked at each other. Ryan and Cole could come home at any moment. Do we dare take advantage of the living room with its elegant furnishings, spicy ginger stems in cut-glass vases and lovingly placed vintage coral statues?

It was Thomas who stepped forward and took Matt’s face in his hands, his tongue sweeping across his mouth. “This is just like one of your books.”

Matt grinned. “Or one of yours…”

“No.” Thomas kissed him again. “In my books, my men don’t linger with their tongues over their lovers’ bodies…”

“You need to linger over mine?” Matt’s words were swamped by the sensation of Thomas’ mouth on his throat, moving up toward his ear. Thomas licked a long, languid line up Matt’s neck. He moved behind him, putting a row of kisses on the nape.

“Man, I wanted to do that all day.”

Matt moved around to feel Thomas’ hard, perfect body in his arms, shifting the groceries from one hand to the other. “Maybe we should put this stuff in the fridge.”

“Maybe you should focus on the issue at hand, Matt.” Thomas put a possessive hand on Matt’s crotch, rubbing in an assured way, taking the plastic sack from him and tossing it onto the ottoman. It bounced with a sickening crash of glass to the floor.

He stepped up his unnecessary seduction with lingering swabs wherever his mouth happened to land. It was hard for Matt to stay vertical with Thomas licking and kissing him everywhere.

“Take your clothes off. Leave your underpants on.”

Matt stripped quickly, leaving on his black Calvin briefs. Thomas stripped down to his white ones, sporting a nice, hard cock.

He rubbed against Matt for one sweet moment, quickly dropping to his knees to trace the outline of Matt’s hardening cock with his relentless tongue. He sucked in the head through the stretch fabric, causing Matt to moan in a mixture of joy and frustration. He wanted to feel Thomas’ hot mouth on his skin.

Thomas pushed him to the huge, comfortable sofa, spreading his legs and licking a trail from Matt’s ass to the band that ended just above the private path of his treasure trail.

Thomas knelt between his legs, and their kissing continued. Thomas refused to join him on the sofa. He wanted a full exploration of Matt’s body.

Matt was ecstatic when Thomas finally decided the voyage ended with his toes and retraced, his tongue dancing back to the pleasure zone.

“Oh, my baby’s hungry for me.” Thomas lowered the underpants over Matt’s rigid cock and suckled the ripe, juicy head with a tender voraciousness. “I love how hard you get for me,” he mumbled, putting his lips right back over him. Matt panted underneath him and Thomas pushed the underpants down until they dangled from one foot. “Open your legs, baby. Daddy’s hungry.”

Matt cried out when Thomas’ tongue stabbed at his ass. His hands reached forward to curve over Thomas’ chest and arms. He loved the feel of him, had almost memorized each muscle, each tiny blemish, like the scar from a hula hoop accident when he was five. He loved, loved, loved this man.

- See more at: http://www.mojocastle.com/back-to-black-point-black-point-book-2.html#sthash.Tahcuir9.dpuf

 

Night Hag is OUT NOW!

NightHag

 

Night Hag and the funny, feisty tales that make up the Amber PAX Heavy Petting 2 collection of books, is OUT NOW!

Buy one, or buy them all! Here is the link to ALL the books: http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2073-AmberPax-Heavy-Petting-2.aspx

Featuring my story, Night Hag, and other tales of wonder from the totally awesome J.D. Walker, T.A. Chase, K.M. Mahoney and Heidi Champa, this collection is a follow-up to the original Heavy Petting collection.

Here’s a taste of what you can look forward to!

From the Rubble by T.A. Chase

Purchase Link:http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2069-From-The-Rubble.aspx

Synopsis:

Ever since watching a search and rescue team find his lost sister, Keaton Goodwin has worked and trained to become a SAR handler. He raises the perfect dogs to work with him, and he loves his job. When he’s called to take his dog, Kaiser, to Bogata, Colombia after a devastating earthquake, Keaton heads out not sure what he’ll find.

And what he doesn’t expect to find is Master Sergeant Nodin Standing Bear.

Nodin’s squad has been sent by the Army to help keep the SAR teams safe during the search and rescue part of the operation. He’s done a lot of this kind of work during his twenty-three years of service, yet there’s something different about Keaton, and Nodin knows a disaster area isn’t the best place to start a relationship.

When Keaton disappears, Nodin has to face how much he really cares about the younger man. Will the emotions they feel amongst the rubble be enough of a foundation to build a future?

Crazy Cat Guy by Heidi Champa

Purchase Link: http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2068-Crazy-Cat-Guy.aspx

Synopsis:

Jacob Danby loves cats. He makes room in his home and heart for seven of them, all strays and rescues. Unfortunately, his lawyer ex-boyfriend, Owen, didn’t share the same affinity for the pitter-patter of cat paws. When Owen presented Jacob with an ultimatum, the cats or their relationship, Jacob had no choice but to pick his pets.

When Jacob finds out that having so many cats puts him in violation of a town ordinance, he reluctantly turns to Owen for legal help. Can Jacob find a way to trust Owen again, or will his pride cost him more than just his beloved cats?

Learning to Love Cats by K.M. Mahoney

Purchase Link: http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2070-Learning-To-Love-Cats.aspx

Synopsis:

Mike isn’t much of an animal lover. His sister, however, insists that every little boy needs a pet, which is how he finds himself sitting in a veterinary office, trying to explain the facts of life to his six-year-old nephew while holding a dead hamster in a shoebox. It’s not one of his finer moments. So of course, it’s just his luck that in walks the cute, shy, and utterly lust-worthy Riley Laytham. But Mike has never been one to let an opportunity pass him by, no matter how awkward the situation might be.

Riley isn’t used to guys flirting with him, and he definitely didn’t expect it to happen at the local vet office. In the kennels, no less, surrounded by dogs and cats, and under the close scrutiny of one overly inquisitive little boy. Riley’s first instinct is to make his excuses and run, but Mike is persistent.

Their first date is a disaster. They have nothing in common, and Riley’s cats seem determined to end the budding relationship before it can get started. For some reason, though, Mike isn’t running. Now Riley just has to decide if he can make it work with a guy who staunchly declares that he doesn’t like cats.

Of Paws and Pet Rocks by J.D. Walker

Purchase Link: http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2072-Of-Paws-And-Pet-Rocks.aspx

Synopsis:

Barry Dunning is a gifted yet lonely pet groomer, fierce animal lover, and the painter of pet rocks, thanks to the lease on his tiny apartment that does not allow for actual pets. He’s been burned badly by an ex-boyfriend who left him with tons of debt, which will take years to pay off, and has built a wall around his wounded heart.

Sheldon Svenson, the handsome owner of the animal shelter where Barry volunteers on weekends, asks him out on a date. Barry—for once taking his sister’s advice—accepts. Dinner starts out well, but when the discussion turns to Barry’s past relationships, he panics and runs away.

Undaunted, Sheldon pursues Barry. But can Sheldon convince the man to risk losing his heart and to give their budding relationship a chance, despite his fears?

Night Hag by A.J. Llewellyn

Purchase Link: http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2071-Night-Hag.aspx

Synopsis:

The sequel to Amber Allure’s Best Seller Bunyip

In the idyllic seaside town of Half Moon Bay, just outside of San Francisco, Gideon Hunter has just met the man of his dreams in Jory Wyatt. But how can he start something with Jory when Gideon has a monster of a problem? His newly adopted five-year-old daughter has some issues, and Gideon can’t even begin to cope with her little…idiosyncrasies…let alone fall in love. Not only that, but Jory has a few things to deal with himself. Namely his 175-pound dog Renaldo. Unfortunately, Gretchen has become attached to Renaldo, and the big drooling beast seems to have become smitten with her, too.

Jory has waited a long time for somebody as wonderful as Gideon to move to town. But can Gideon be as amazing as he seems? And is it true what their mutual friend Steve Maddox says about Gideon’s cute yet serious daughter? That she’s some kind of actual monster? Steve should know, especially since he has an unusual creature of his own…Norman the bunyip…

Note: Although this story is a sequel to Bunyip, it can be read as a stand-alone story.

Phantom Lovers Books 11 and 12 OUT NOW!!

PL11_Diura

 

adam cannibal

 

OUT NOW!

Diura and The Cannibal King’s Husband are out today at Amber Allure! 

 

Diura (Book 11 of the Phantom Lover series)

http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2030-Diura.aspx

Kimo Wilder, Hawaii’s top hula dancer, kahuna (high priest) and Keeper of Secrets, is battling with his husband Lopaka over their toddler son. Baby Kimo shows all the signs of being a gifted healer himself and now the Huna Council wants him. On the day of their wedding in California, an emotional celebration of same-sex marriage, the couple realizes they must present a united front.

To celebrate their wedding in style and to keep their family intact, the Wilders travel to a remote Scottish castle on the ancient, volcanic island of Diùra. But this is no holiday idyll. Now at war with the Huna Council, Kimo and Lopaka discover long-dormant family secrets and unseen forces determined to both help and destroy them, and send them to an undetermined fate in search of the truth.

NOTE: This story was previously published with the ISBN: 978-1-55487-253-4. This reissued version of the story has been revised and reedited.

Genres: Gay / Fantasy / Witchcraft / Magic / Paranormal / Ghosts / Hauntings / Mystery / Action / Adventure / Interracial / Multicultural / Series
Heat Level: 3
Length: Novella (29k words)

 

The Cannibal King’s Husband (Book 12 of the Phantom Lover series)

http://www.amberquill.com/store/p/2031-The-Cannibal-King-s-Husband.aspx

Kimo and Lopaka are on the run from the Hawaiian Kahuna Council. They’ve fled their castle hideaway in Diura, Scotland, on a boat headed for Samoa in search of Lopaka’s father, Paden.

Paden, a remarkably handsome islander, now known as Keneti, abandoned his young family in pursuit of his own island man…a cannibal king. He is the only person who can prevent the Council from taking Kimo and Lopaka’s precious toddler son away from them and into seclusion for magical training.

But will the man who dumped his own son find it in his heart to fight for Baby Kimo? Or will his new lifestyle dictate a different and deadlier choice?

NOTE: This story was previously published with the ISBN: 978-1-55487-159-9. This reissued version of the story has been revised and reedited.

Genres: Gay / Fantasy / Witchcraft / Magic / Paranormal / Action / Adventure / Series
Heat Level: 3
Length: Novella (29k words)

 

It’s TIKI TIME with RICK R.REED! – WIN a FREE eBOOK!

Husband Hunters Rick

 

It’s Tiki Time!

Hi Rick, and thank you for visiting my authors’ hideaway tiki bar. With the ocean to your left and the mountains to you right, you can have whatever cocktail you like.

1. What is your favorite? Honestly, the first thing that popped in my head was a margarita. But it has to be good margarita, none of that pre-mix crap: just lime juice, good tequila, and some triple sec for sweetness. Not frozen, please, and the rim must be salted. Can we have a pitcher?

2. Now, onto the important stuff. The interrogation. Er, I mean, the questions.I first interviewed you several years ago and you were the king of gay horror. Your books both enthralled and terrified me but I’ve noticed you haven’t written a horror book lately. Is there a reason for this? Do you plan to write one in the near future – or are you too happy now? Oh, I still love to read horror and I have no doubt that I’ll write it again, but I think my newer horror will also be tempered with a romance backdrop. I’m at a place now where I’m more interested in love than terror and that’s reflected in what I pursue in my writing. But I do have some ideas up my sleeve for the future (and a new title coming out at the end of the year called THIRD EYE, which will include psychic visions and murder). 2016 should also see the release of a romantic suspense novel called THE COUPLE NEXT DOOR. So I’m not done scaring you, but I do it with love. Also AJ, you’ll be thrilled to hear Dreamspinner Press Publications (a new imprint of theirs which will feature horror, mystery, fantasy and science fiction) will be releasing my serial killer thriller, IM, in a new edition. You remember my online killer…and striped sheets?

3. I live in fear of striped sheets. Thanks for that, Rick! I really enjoyed your recent book, Chaser. I do have to ask have you ever been one yourself? And how do you feel about chubby people? I noticed in a recent interview that you say you have a secret crush on your cover model from Dinner at Home. He doesn’t look stick-thin to me. Does Bruce need to pile on the pasta??? Have I ever been a chubby chaser? Not in the strictest sense, no, but I can appreciate a man with some extra meat on his bones (like Ollie on the cover of DINNER AT HOME–he’s dreamy). Bruce is fine just as he is.

4. I think Bruce is adorable! You don’t write cookie-cutter romances. Some of your protagonists are frankly hard to like at first. This is a brave feat on your part considering so many readers and reviewers demand perfection from the outset. I’ve read numerous reviews of your books and I am always intrigued that reviewers say they trust you and that you don’t disappoint. My question is, does it ever worry you when people have such visceral reactions to your books? I can’t let myself worry too much. Here’s the part where I sound crazy, but I have to release the voices and characters that are inside me, clamoring to get out and have their stories told. Like real people in real life, none of them are perfect and they all have flaws. I think that makes them so much more interesting. And I believe the same thing for the things I enjoy reading. In my opinion, perfection is a worthy thing to strive for, but let’s face it, it’s kind of dull.

5. How do you feel about the plethora of M/M fluff on the market? Have you read any? I’m gonna pass on that question because to answer it in any meaningful way, I’d have to give examples. Let’s just say that I think there’s a place for fluff. Sometimes you just want something happy and entertaining and that doesn’t demand too much thinking. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

6. What makes a hero appealing to you in fiction? As in the question above, I think what makes a hero appealing is one that’s flawed. That way he has something to strive for, something to overcome, and something to make him human.

7. We’ve talked a lot about women writing M/M and you wrote a significant blog about it some time ago. I asked a friend of mine recently about this subject since so many women read and write in the genre. She says it’s because some women perceive gay men as having a freedom of sexuality and self-expression that they don’t. How do you feel about this explanation? I don’t know. I’m reluctant to generalize about gay men at all. Like any other group of people, gay men can be very different from one another. The only common thread is having the same sexual orientation, which may sometimes translate to this freedom you mention…and it may not. It depends on the individual. I like what Elisa Rolle (the Italian m/m reviewer) said when I asked her this question and she said she liked the power dynamic in m/m romance–it was more equal.

8. What are some of the biggest misconceptions women have about gay men – in fiction and in life? One of the tropes I hate most in gay fiction is “gay for you” which takes an otherwise straight man and has him suddenly attracted to one significant other male. This is different from awakening to desires lying dormant. The former can happen, although I suspect it’s rare and more confined to younger people. But the idea that a single guy could suddenly “go gay” is aggravating to me, a gay man who fought very hard to accept and love himself (it took years and lots of mistakes). Sexual orientation isn’t something that just appears because of another person–it’s innate and I believe it’s something you’re born with. I know this trope has its fans, but you will never catch me writing it. I think it’s simply ignorant. In real life? That we’re all alike.

9. Is there a subject you would never write about as an author? If so, what is it? I’m generally not afraid to “go there” and explore strange and dark places, so I’m not sure. For certain, I do shy away from the usual taboos–necrophilia, rape, incest, kinks involving bodily fluids–not because most publishers prohibit them but more because I don’t really think I’d be interested in writing about such things. 10. What elements in your work space are crucial? And do you have any sacred writing rituals? Computer, keyboard, mouse. I write in the morning and stop when I have around 1,000 words completed–almost every day. See, simple? And probably boring….

10. Before you met and married Bruce, what was the worst date you ever had? When I was single, once upon a time, I met a man online who seemed nice enough. He invited me over for a hook-up and when I arrived, I saw he was not at all as he represented himself and he was not my type at all. I politely declined to take things any further. As a parting shot as I was leaving his apartment building, he shouted that he hoped I got AIDS. Nice.

11. He said that? Really? How…creepy. Did he have striped sheets? Now…onto more pleasant things! You are such a foodie…and by the way your Facebook posts frequently make me hungry… If you could invite any six famous people to dinner – alive or dead – who would it be and what would you serve them? I wouldn’t invite dead people to dinner; that would be unappetizing, not to mention unsanitary. I guess I’d invite the following, in no particular order: Lily Tomlin, John Waters, David Sedaris, Ellen Degeneres, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Michelle Obama, just to keep order. I’d make my mom’s spaghetti and meatballs and serve it with lots of Chianti. I’d just sit back and listen.

12. And…what are your top 10 desert island keeper books you’ve read? That’s tough. I read 1-2 books a week, every week. Let me just see what pops into my head: A Confederacy of Dunces, The Hours, A Dark-Adapted Eye, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Anything by Flannery O’Connor, Anything by Patricia Highsmith, Dolores Claiborne, The Wizard of Oz, Was and that’s all for now.

13. What current projects do you have in the pipeline? I mentioned THIRD EYE, a psychic thriller with a dash of romance, coming out end-of-year. In early 2015, I have BLINK, a very romantic–and semi-autobiographical–love story coming out. Also in 2015, I’ll be doing a thriller called THE COUPLE NEXT DOOR and a contemporary romance that I’m working on now, tentatively called HENRY AND VITO.

 

Rick R. Reed Biography
:

Rick R. Reed is all about exploring the romantic entanglements of gay men in contemporary, realistic settings. While his stories often contain elements of suspense, mystery and the paranormal, his focus ultimately returns to the power of love. He is the author of dozens of published novels, novellas, and short stories. He is a three-time EPIC eBook Award winner (for Caregiver, Orientation and The Blue Moon Cafe). Raining Men and Caregiver have both won the Rainbow Award for gay fiction.  Lambda Literary Review has called him, “a writer that doesn’t disappoint.” Rick lives in Seattle with his husband and a very spoiled Boston terrier. He is forever “at work on another novel.” 

Web: http://www.rickrreed.com 
Blog: http://rickrreedreality.blogspot.com/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/rickrreedbooks 
Twitter: www.twitter.com/rickrreed. 
E-mail: jimmyfels@gmail.com

 

WIN a FREE Rick R.Reed ebook!

Rafflecopter Prize: Signed copy of ‘Hungry for Love’ or ‘Chaser’

Rafflecopter Code: a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

HuntersBadge

Blurb for Husband Hunters

You never know where the love of your life might turn up.

When Matt Connelly suggests to his best buddy Cody Mook that they head to downtown Seattle to audition for the gay reality TV show Husband Hunters, both agree the experience might be a lark and a chance to grab their fifteen minutes of fame. What they don’t know is that the show, modeled after HGTV’s House Hunters, will open doors of longing neither expected. For Matt, the secret love he has long harbored for Cody might be thrust into the spotlight. Cody might realize his search for his perfect-forever-man extends no farther than the man who’s always been at his side.   Husband Hunters promises laughter, tears, and, just maybe, a happy ever after. Will Cody and Matt’s story be one of best-friends-to-lovers—or an outright disaster?

Excerpt:

“You ever heard of a TV show called Husband Hunters?” Matt asked.

Cody let a short bark of a laugh escape. “Dude. It’s House Hunters. On HGTV, like, a thousand times a day.”

“No, no. There’s really a show called Husband Hunters. It’s on the gay channel. Haven’t you even heard of it? It’s the new gay show, even more popular than Drag Race. Where have you been?”

“Husband hunting?” Cody asked.

“Exactly. And how’s that working out for you?”

Cody paced his studio apartment and thought his friend Matt wasn’t as clueless as he had assumed about Cody’s romantic situation. “So far, my wish to be desired by many, won by few has gotten twisted around so it’s ass backwards.”

Matt obviously had to think about that for a moment. When he put it all together, he laughed. Not for the first time Cody thought of how his friend’s laughter too strongly resembled a donkey’s bray.

“Anyway,” Matt went on. “This show is kind of like your House Hunters in that it showcases someone looking for something and gives us three scenarios to watch and help them decide. Except instead of houses, it’s husbands!” Matt shrieked this last with something like delight—or lunacy.

“You’re kidding.” Cody rolled his eyes. He walked over to his kitchenette and began pulling out the makings for his breakfast: a couple of eggs, a loaf of Dave’s Spelt bread. “Is there a reason you brought this up? I can’t imagine anything more horrible. They actually get people to go on this show?” Cody sighed. “Whatever happened to romance?”

“The Internet,” Matt replied without missing a beat. “It’s a new day, as Miss Nina Simone once sang. Men get their manmeat digitally now. Soon Amazon will have drones delivering studs to your front door.”

“Whatever.” Cody was getting tired of the conversation. “You want to go out tonight or what?”

“Cody!” Matt complained. “You didn’t let me tell you the best part! Husband Hunters is right here in Seattle… today! They’re doing a talent search for some Pacific Northwest episodes.”

“And this affects me how?” Cody filled a pan with water, threw in some white vinegar and a little kosher salt, and set it on the stove to come to a simmer for his poached eggs.

“We can try out. Are you dense?” Matt went on, a little breathless with excitement. “What with the snow, there won’t even be as much competition. With your hotness and my wit, we’ll both be shoo-ins.”

Cody laughed. “You’re kidding me, right? What about the school?”

“You think they’d mind? Have you noticed that our principal is a legally wed leather daddy?”

Cody chuckled. “Only in Seattle….” He set two pieces of bread in the toaster and checked the water again for signs of boiling. A watched pot…. “You feel free to trot on down to the auditions, but this is nothing I want any part in. It’s gross.” Cody scratched the top of his head. “What do you have to do to audition, anyway? Kiss guys?”

Matt laughed. “One can hope. Come on, Cody. It’ll be fun. And you never know. It could change your life.”

“So could a car accident.”

Matt blew out a big sigh. “Don’t be a spoilsport. You know you can’t resist my charms. The casting call is being held at the Westin downtown. What time should I pick you up? My four-wheel drive will plow right through this shit.”

“I’m not going. It’s undignified.” Cody cracked the two eggs into separate ramekins.

“Dignity is overrated. What time should I pick you up?” Matt repeated.

“Didn’t you hear me? I’m not doing it!” Cody pushed the bread down in the toaster.

“Look. You may not think I’ve noticed, but I know you want to find that special someone, that soul mate character. I’ve seen how you moon over Pete at school.”

Pete was a biology teacher who bore an amazing resemblance to Colin Farrell. He had just married his sweetheart of eleven years, Johan. The couple was seldom apart. It was sickening. Except it wasn’t. It was sweet and gave Cody a glimmer of hope that somehow, somewhere, someday there was a man out there for him. Cody’s heart gave a little lurch. He knew it was true. He wanted what Pete and Johan had.

Matt went on, “So why not just try this? The truth is neither of us will probably make the cut. But it’ll be fun to go to the tryouts, see who else turns up. And who knows? The man of your dreams may be twitchin’ down at the Westin, looking for the same thing you are.”

Cody had to begrudgingly admit Matt had a point. “Okay,” he said, defeated. “But after? We go to Terra Plata for appetizers and lots of Bloody Marys. And you’re buying.”

“Deal. If it’ll get you there.”

“Is that it, then?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll pick you up at one. The casting call starts at two.”

“Okay, good-bye. My water’s boiling.”

“Your water broke?”

“Oh, shut up!” Cody was about to hang up when Matt shouted into the phone.

 


Tour Dates/Stops:

9/8: Joyfully Jay

9/11: A.J. Llewellyn

9/15: Rainbow Gold Reviews

9/18: Fallen Angel Reviews

9/22: Prism Book Alliance

9/25: 3 Chicks After Dark

9/29: On Top Down Under

10/2: The Blogger Girls

Buy Links Dreamspinner Ebook: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=5381 Dreamspinner Paperback: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=5382 Amazon Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Husband-Hunters-Rick-R-Reed-ebook/dp/B00MYNU7DQ/ Amazon Paperback: to come AllRomance eBooks: http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-husbandhunters-1604135-149.html

 

Thanks for stopping by, Rick. The cabana boys will be mixing you another drink before you hit the beach!

LAID 3 – OUT NOW!! – And an Update on the late John Bruno

Laid-3 50

 

I am thrilled to announce that Laid 3 is out today at the fantastic Stiff Rain Press – and that the totally fun story I concocted with the late, great John Bruno. http://www.stiffrainpress.com/m8/36-978-1-62344-037-4–laid-3-by-aj-llewellyn.html

I’ve been thinking about my friend a lot the last few days, ever since the passing of actor Robin Williams. Both were remarkable men who took their own lives, devastating all those who knew and love them.

John was in pain for a very long time and tried to take his own life several times before succeeding, unfortunately, on January 14, last year.

I still miss the dry, observant, witty, self-effacing man who had such huge dreams and amazing talent, but met constant obstacles that he could no longer overcome.

Depression is a serious illness that robs the people suffering from it of all their senses. Looking back, there are many signs we all could have seen…and did, BUT John was a man who was in counseling and had actually gone to see his therapist on the Saturday before he died. In fact, that night, he checked himself into a motel and took a drug overdose as he had before, but survived.

He returned to his parents’ Michigan home Sunday morning, confessed his suicide attempt, then slept for a full day.

On Monday evening, he crept out of his bedroom window and shot himself in the head.

According to all the reports I’ve read, Mr. Williams too, had been in an AA meeting on Saturday, but took his life two days later.

When someone is determined, they will find a way to silence the dark storms in their minds. John left behind three suicide notes, which I have copies of.  They kept me awake for days, just reading them. Two of them had been written months before – when he’d made earlier attempts. He kept scratching out the dates and putting in new ones. There was a certain macabre humor to these updated notes that were pure John.

The final note however was current and simply devastating. He wrote, in part, “If you want to know why, it’s because I am mentally ill.” He wrote many things, but his handwriting deteriorated at this point to a mind-blurring scramble.

I believe he might have taken anti-anxiety pills, but they were all doctor-prescribed. Ultimately, he had a gun nobody knew about, and he shot himself right in his poor parents’ backyard.

My hope is that Mr. Williams’ passing opens up a discussion about the insidiousness of this disease – and how there are things we still don’t know and the ravages of it.

These were two men who were both seeking and receiving treatment, but nothing worked. The foghorns of doom kept calling them. When I look back on the last weeks of John’s life, a cheery call in December after months of ignored emails and calls was a relief at the time. It’s not that he was Mr. Happy, but he seemed comfortable and focused. We made plans to meet in January here in LA. It turns out his close friends ALL got the same call.

We realized at his funeral that he had in fact no intention of coming here.

He’d called us all to say good-bye.

They say people who’ve made the decision to end their lives act happy toward the end. That wasn’t true of John. He seemed calm, but hardly bubbly.

In fact his last scrawled message on his suicide note said, “I’m scared to die.”

And yet, he wanted it all to end.

I have stopped looking at the notes because they tear at my heart. It is still sore from the loss of my friend and a true, madcap genius who had amazing ideas and a wonderful, warped sense of the ridiculous.

I will miss you forever John, but I have Jack and Lucky, our naughty, naughty creations with which to remember you by.

With a heart full of love an enduring sadness…I miss you.

 

A.J. xxx

Next Page »